This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
