What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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