She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
