My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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