I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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