Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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