his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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