the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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