Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
