As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am one with the molecules
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
