Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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