I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
