I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
