You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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