Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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