Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nutella sex= disaster
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
