first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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