talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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