We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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