Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
