I have demons in me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
