Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
