maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
