I hate your face
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
