Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
