That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
