so explain again why im purple
no
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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