Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
