Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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