you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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