Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
