Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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