Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
