We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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