I want to make a zoo with you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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