I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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