I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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