If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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