I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
