'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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