im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
