this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
