Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
