I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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