But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize