Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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