Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
