I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
