Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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