That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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