can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
