What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is the high leading the old right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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