Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
