this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
