I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I would fuck him just for his dog
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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