Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
