was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
