I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Congratulations! We have a period
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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