This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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